Richard Moore's Straight Talk Columns

Antics make me glad to be back and into Act

12/10/2010

I'm baaaaack ... and not a moment too soon either!

Crikey it has been a busy time and there have been sooo many lucky types - such as ex-Act Party tosspot David Garrett - who managed to evade my poisoned pen during the past few weeks.

Wasn't that man a hypocrite - wanting three strikes and you're out for crims and not fessing up to the fact he was already on strike two?

And Act leader Rodney "Bovver Boy" Hide is proving to one and all that his political footwork is worse than his dancing.

Firstly he hides (sorry about that) Garrett's dodgy legal record and then he beats up on his former deputy Heather Roy. He forces her from her role, which she had done well, and tries to bully her out of Parliament with statements along the lines of "she's not strong enough to come back."

Well by golly by gosh Rodders you were wrong there.

Roy fronted up, gave you the two-finger salute, and gets my pat on the back for treating you like the little erk you are.

Anyway, back to the present and we've had idiots number 17 and 18 die in a car crash while trying to escape from police.

I'm sorry, I don't see how anyone could blame the cops for the cretinous actions of others. I expect the police to try to stop people who are breaking the law.

That is their job.

They are there to protect society from crims, drunk-drivers and speedsters.

If police want to pull me over, I stop. They could be wanting to check my registration, licence details, or get my autograph!

I do not play silly buggers and try to outrun them - endangering other people in the process.

There should be a mandatory two-year minimum in jail for anyone trying to do a runner from police. No arguments, no pleas, no excuses. Two years inside.

It may take a while to permeate into some thick heads that racing off is not worth it, but it will eventually get through.

********

It is unbelievable that people are trying to avoid serving on a jury. I've never been selected.

I've called up offering my services. I've even tried standing outside of the justice ministry with a placard saying "Pick Me, I'm a Rick!"

All to no avail.

According to statistics 15 per cent of the 18,406 people summoned for juries in Tauranga last year failed to turn up. And of those who bothered, 66 per cent were excused.

New rules will allow people to defer jury service for a year but you'll not be able to get off doing your civic duty.

Come on Simon Power, let me have a go ... I'd be fair and reasonable.

Hehehehehe.

********

Now while the green-and-gold demigods and goddesses sit so far ahead of everyone else on the Commonwealth Games medal table you'd think other athletes would be concentrating on catching up.

But it doesn't appear so, as a recent report shows.

It seems the off-the-field activities of thousands of young hotbodies are putting the drains of the Games village well and truly to the test as thousands of flushed condoms threaten to clog them.

Games organisers have up to 8000 free condoms for athletes and 4000 have already been grabbed.

And I thought you go to the Games to win medals...

********

Now if you happen to think that male airline staff have limper wrists than judges then here is a warning.

"Shock jock" Iain Stables was prevented from boarding a Jetstar plane by an airline employee who told he was too late to join the flight.

The radio voice then offered up a few rude words, called the guy and his airline losers and may even have thrown something at the attendant.

That was a bit too much for the Jetstar chap who leapt the counter and floored Stables.

Three security guards had to intervene to separate the scrappers.

Stables is now moaning he has concussion, can't hear and can't even wee.

Here's a little bit of advice, Iain. If you aren't strong enough to fight off a flight attendant you shouldn't be a wise-ass!

********

Thanks to everyone who voted for me in the elections. I got a chance to meet lots of you on the campaign trail and enjoyed chatting with you all. We're going to have fun for the next three years.